Tuesday, March 4, 2008

My Father is Dead

I just found out that my father has been stabbed. Heck Tate says this was an accident and that Boo Radley was the one who did it. My father is dead and I don't know how I feel about it. He was an awful father. He never helped me with anything, he was drunk all the time, he beat me, and he made me lie to the court and send Tom Robinson to his death. But he was still my father, and now I have nobody to help me raise my siblings. I could get a job, but I also have to take care of all my brothers and sisters.

In a way this is my fault too. If I never asked Tom Robinson to help me with chores, i never would have gotten my dad angry. We would have never gone to court. Tom Robinson Would be alive and his family would be happy. My dad would still be alive too and I wouldn't have to worry about my siblings, or food, or money, or myself. I ruined everything for everybody, and I can't fix any of it.

Tom Robinson Has Died

3/2/08

Tom Robinson is dead and it is all my fault. He was being brought into the prison when he ran away from the guards escorting him. They told him to stop but he kept running and they shot him. If I had never lied in court this wouldn't have happened. Yes, my dad may have beaten me, but at least Tom Robinson would still be alive. He didn't deserve any of this. All he wanted to do was try and help me with some of my chores and the way I paid him back was killing him.

I feel even worse because he had a family and children. His wife no longer has a husband and his children no longer have a father to take care of them. How will the rest of the Robinson family get money for food and clothes? I didn't just ruin Tom's life, but I ruined his entire family's as well. If I hadn't been so selfish, none of this would have happened.

The Virdict

3/1/08

The jury came out and read their verdict a few minutes ago. They decided that Tom Robinson was guilty as charged. I can't believe that Tom is going to jail again, and if his appeal doesn't go through he will be killed. I feel terrible about what I have done. I know that my father isn't as mad at me as we would have been if we lost, but I don't think it was really worth it. Thanks to me a nice innocent man is going back to jail and may even be killed.

My dad is still mad though. Not at me, but at Atticus Finch. He thinks Atticus made him look like a bad person. He doesn't seem to be getting over this and I am afraid of what he might do to him.

Tom Robinson's Testimony

2/29/08

Tom Robinson just took the stand, he told the jury everything I explained earlier, in other words he told the truth about what happened. I felt really bad because Mr. Gilmer tried to make him seem like a bad person, kind of like what Atticus did to my father. But Tom was really a nice person, he would do chores for me without charge and without complaining. He was also the closest thing to a friend I ever had, and probably the only person who has ever cared about me, even a little.

I really have no idea who will win the case. The defense's case is stronger, but Mr.Gilmer says that the jury would probably believe two white people's words over a black man's. I just hope we win so my father won't be angry with me again.

My Testimony...

2/28/08

My testimony was terrible. I started crying before Mr. Finch even asked me a single question. I didn't like how he was treating me either. He kept calling me Miss Mayella and miss, he was making fun of me and making me feel bad. I tried to stick to the story as best I could. But his questions confused me and he asked the jury questions like why didn't anyone (including my siblings) hear me scream, why I didn't put up a better fight, and how could Tom Robinson have bruised my right eye if he can't use his left arm.

Now I am not sure who will win this trial. They still have Tom's testimony and I don't think that I did a very good job with mine. Even with my father and Heck Tate's testimony I don't think our case is strong enough anymore and that we will probably be caught in our lies.

My Father's Testimony

2/27/08

The trial is happening right now. Heck Tate and my father just testified and so far I think everything is going well. When Heck Tate took the stand he told everybody what happened when he got there. He said that I was beaten up pretty bad and that they didn't get a doctor. He also said that my left right eye was bruised pretty bad.

When my father testified he lied. He said he got home from work and saw Tom Robinson and me through the window. That's when he ran to me and got Heck Tate. The defense attorney, Atticus Finch, asked my father if he could write his name and my father did. My father is left handed and Mr. Finch pointed out that he could possibly be the one who beat me, not Tom Robinson.

I'm afraid of testifying. Especially after Mr. Finch made my dad look like such a bad person. What if he does that to me? I am scared that I won't be able to get through my testimony. I really do not want to do this, but my father and Mr.Gilmer say that I have to.

The Trial is Happening Soon...

2/26/08

Today Mr.Gilmer, our lawyer, came over. He wanted to go over what he would say the day of the trial. Our story is that I asked Tom Robinson to come inside our fence to bust up a dresser for me. Mr.Gilmer says I have to say that when he came inside he grabbed me and took advantage of me. Then I have to explain that my dad got home and saw what was happening and Tom Robinson ran away.

My father and Heck Tate, the sheriff, are going to testify too. They are all on my side. I feel bad about blaming Tom Robinson for something he didn't do, but if I don't listen to my father he will hurt me again, and probably a lot worse this time.

There is going to be a trial...

2/25/08

My father has accused Tom Robinson, a black man, of raping me. I was sitting at home, on the porch, the other day when I saw Tom Robinson pass by the house like he usually does on his way home from work. I have asked him to help me out with chores before and he would come in and help me without charging. He is a nice man, one of the only people who have ever bothered to help me with anything.

I asked him to help me with some work inside and he said yes. When he came in we talked for a minute and then I asked him to get something from on top of the set of drawers. He stood on a chair and reached up. While he was standing I hugged him and he jumped down from the chair surprised. That was when I leaned in and kissed him. He got scared and before I knew it my father was standing in the window, and yelled that he was going to kill me. Tom ran out as fast as he could and my father beat me.

I am sacred for the trial because I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't understand what's happening because Tom Robinson didn't really do anything, and I feel that this is all my fault.

Everybody Comes Home...

2/24/08

My brother, Burris, got introuble at school today. He was only there for one day and he got in trouble. He was sitting in class when the teacher, Miss Caroline, saw a cootie crawl out of Burris' hair. The teacher got really mad at him. So he got up yelled at her until she started crying and then left for the day. Even though my brother did get in trouble I still do not understand why the teacher got so angry in the first place. I have so many brothers and sisters and it is hard to get them all cleaned up.

I didn't really get much done today except I collected some fire wood. I just liked having the house to myself for a change. My father got home much later then my siblings so I did not have to worry about him either. My sibling were pretty tired form school so they jut sat around a lot of the time.

The First Day of School...

2/23/08

Today was the first day of school so all of my siblings went today. They only go the first and last days so that the law doesn't go after my family. I can not go to school anymore because I am nineteen and am too old. Sometimes I wish I could go to school so I wouldn't have to stay here withmy father and siblings all of the time. Especially when my father gets angry at me.

I got my siblings ready for school the best that I could and sent them off earlier this morning. While they are gone and my father is at work I'll probably get some work done around the house. I might try and clean up or collect wood or somthing like that. But atleast I have some peace and quiet while everyone is out of the house. I don't get this oppurtunity very often.