Tuesday, March 4, 2008

My Father is Dead

I just found out that my father has been stabbed. Heck Tate says this was an accident and that Boo Radley was the one who did it. My father is dead and I don't know how I feel about it. He was an awful father. He never helped me with anything, he was drunk all the time, he beat me, and he made me lie to the court and send Tom Robinson to his death. But he was still my father, and now I have nobody to help me raise my siblings. I could get a job, but I also have to take care of all my brothers and sisters.

In a way this is my fault too. If I never asked Tom Robinson to help me with chores, i never would have gotten my dad angry. We would have never gone to court. Tom Robinson Would be alive and his family would be happy. My dad would still be alive too and I wouldn't have to worry about my siblings, or food, or money, or myself. I ruined everything for everybody, and I can't fix any of it.

Tom Robinson Has Died

3/2/08

Tom Robinson is dead and it is all my fault. He was being brought into the prison when he ran away from the guards escorting him. They told him to stop but he kept running and they shot him. If I had never lied in court this wouldn't have happened. Yes, my dad may have beaten me, but at least Tom Robinson would still be alive. He didn't deserve any of this. All he wanted to do was try and help me with some of my chores and the way I paid him back was killing him.

I feel even worse because he had a family and children. His wife no longer has a husband and his children no longer have a father to take care of them. How will the rest of the Robinson family get money for food and clothes? I didn't just ruin Tom's life, but I ruined his entire family's as well. If I hadn't been so selfish, none of this would have happened.

The Virdict

3/1/08

The jury came out and read their verdict a few minutes ago. They decided that Tom Robinson was guilty as charged. I can't believe that Tom is going to jail again, and if his appeal doesn't go through he will be killed. I feel terrible about what I have done. I know that my father isn't as mad at me as we would have been if we lost, but I don't think it was really worth it. Thanks to me a nice innocent man is going back to jail and may even be killed.

My dad is still mad though. Not at me, but at Atticus Finch. He thinks Atticus made him look like a bad person. He doesn't seem to be getting over this and I am afraid of what he might do to him.

Tom Robinson's Testimony

2/29/08

Tom Robinson just took the stand, he told the jury everything I explained earlier, in other words he told the truth about what happened. I felt really bad because Mr. Gilmer tried to make him seem like a bad person, kind of like what Atticus did to my father. But Tom was really a nice person, he would do chores for me without charge and without complaining. He was also the closest thing to a friend I ever had, and probably the only person who has ever cared about me, even a little.

I really have no idea who will win the case. The defense's case is stronger, but Mr.Gilmer says that the jury would probably believe two white people's words over a black man's. I just hope we win so my father won't be angry with me again.

My Testimony...

2/28/08

My testimony was terrible. I started crying before Mr. Finch even asked me a single question. I didn't like how he was treating me either. He kept calling me Miss Mayella and miss, he was making fun of me and making me feel bad. I tried to stick to the story as best I could. But his questions confused me and he asked the jury questions like why didn't anyone (including my siblings) hear me scream, why I didn't put up a better fight, and how could Tom Robinson have bruised my right eye if he can't use his left arm.

Now I am not sure who will win this trial. They still have Tom's testimony and I don't think that I did a very good job with mine. Even with my father and Heck Tate's testimony I don't think our case is strong enough anymore and that we will probably be caught in our lies.

My Father's Testimony

2/27/08

The trial is happening right now. Heck Tate and my father just testified and so far I think everything is going well. When Heck Tate took the stand he told everybody what happened when he got there. He said that I was beaten up pretty bad and that they didn't get a doctor. He also said that my left right eye was bruised pretty bad.

When my father testified he lied. He said he got home from work and saw Tom Robinson and me through the window. That's when he ran to me and got Heck Tate. The defense attorney, Atticus Finch, asked my father if he could write his name and my father did. My father is left handed and Mr. Finch pointed out that he could possibly be the one who beat me, not Tom Robinson.

I'm afraid of testifying. Especially after Mr. Finch made my dad look like such a bad person. What if he does that to me? I am scared that I won't be able to get through my testimony. I really do not want to do this, but my father and Mr.Gilmer say that I have to.

The Trial is Happening Soon...

2/26/08

Today Mr.Gilmer, our lawyer, came over. He wanted to go over what he would say the day of the trial. Our story is that I asked Tom Robinson to come inside our fence to bust up a dresser for me. Mr.Gilmer says I have to say that when he came inside he grabbed me and took advantage of me. Then I have to explain that my dad got home and saw what was happening and Tom Robinson ran away.

My father and Heck Tate, the sheriff, are going to testify too. They are all on my side. I feel bad about blaming Tom Robinson for something he didn't do, but if I don't listen to my father he will hurt me again, and probably a lot worse this time.